I miss my long slow runs.

I miss having nice conversations with friends. It’s tough to talk when you’re wheezing.

I tend to joke about it, but the fact is, I don’t like going fast on Sunday. I don’t want it to be a race.

By the end of this morning’s run (10 miles in 1:23), I was pissed that I couldn’t keep up. Even worse – I was pissed that I was pissed. There is absolutely no reason to feel inadequate running 8:00 pace when I would much rather be at 9:00 pace.

I spent 40 minutes alone. When running with 4 other people, there’s no reason to be alone. Granted, I took a 30-second break to duck behind a tree, but even when I caught back up, I couldn’t maintain the pace. I watched as 4 other runners, in groups of 2 and 2 moved further ahead.

There’s no reason to think this will change. We say the same thing before every Sunday run, “We’re going slow today,” but eventually, the pace picks up, the conversations shorten and I’m counting steps, trying to get to my happy place.

I suppose I have a choice to make ….